CURRENT STATUS (11/16/2008 4:30pm): In my car

HOLLYWOOD — Mattel’s popular doll, Barbie, was killed last Tuesday when the SUV she was driving rolled over. The Hollywood police said the 45-year old model was traveling at a high rate of speed on her way home to her playhouse when the accident occurred. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

Mattel spokesman, Chauncey Etchasketch, said, “This is a great tragedy for both Mattel and America. Barbie was one of our best-loved models and she will be greatly missed.”

When reached for comment, Barbie’s former boyfriend, Ken, said, “I am just devastated. We had dinner at Spago’s together and talked about old times. I offered to drive her home as I thought she had a little too much to drink, but she said she would be fine.”

Ken and Barbie had been romantically linked since they met on the set of a TV commercial in 1961, but Barbie has recently been linked to Blaine, the boogie boarder.
Police refused to speculate if Barbie was over the legal limit for alcohol and said they would have to wait until after the coroner’s report before commenting.

- Mike Pasternack
Source: Bongo News